Star Wars - I, Jedi Read online

  "Agreed." I gave him a hopeful look. "I also think we need to decide what we're going to do about Exar Kun."

  "Right." Luke hunched forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His cloak slid down around his shoulders and flanks, making him look smaller than I'd ever seen him before. "Evi-dence we've got points to Exar Kun or a disciple of his pretend-ing to be. I've searched this temple and have found tiny traces of evil. Not enough for Exar Kun."

  I toyed with my goatee for a moment. "I thought I heard Someone-Bodo Baas, perhaps-say the temples here had all been raised as a focus for Exar Kun's power. Maybe this temple isn't the focus of it, but just linked to it. If the link was forged of Sith magic, Exar Kun might be able to block back-tracing. An-other of the temples here, then, would be the centerpoint of his power."

  Luke nodded, then sat back. "Good idea. That temple could also be where Gantoris and Kyp obtained instruction. If we only knew where it was."

  I smiled. "I think we can find out."

  "How?"

  "Survey logs. Everyone has been out surveying the local sights."

  "Yes, but that was after Gantoris died." Luke's eyes nar-rowed. "And Kyp would have falsified his logs to hide where he had been."

  "True, but he was out all the time with Dorsk 81, who wouldn't have any reason to falsify his survey reports." I smiled slowly. "If you ask for everyone to turn in their survey logs and tell them you will be conducting an exercise about observation, I can go over them and sort out the likely spots our Kun-clone is hiding out."

  "Okay, we'll do that." Luke stood and came over to stare at the ruined Holocron. "By destroying the Holocron, our enemy may have done more to hurt us than he knows."

  "In his fondest dreams." I gave him an easy grin. "What we've learned of Jedi history is good. We're certain we're heirs to that tradition. Now you need to use what you know to trans-form us into the people who will further that legend."

  Feeling Mara Jade's back pressed against mine, I had to smile.

  "Kam isn't making this easy, is he?"

  Her blue lightsaber hummed then spat as it batted away a remote's fiery dart. "Easy isn't for Jedi, is it?"

  "Nope." I extended my senses as far as I could, taking in most of the darkened hangar space. Karo had closed the door and turned off all the lights, leaving our lightsabers to provide the only illumination. Eight remotes floated out through the darkness, dancing through a complex weave of paths that al-lowcd one to eclipse another. If we did not concentrate enough to project our senses into the hollows behind the remotes or the pillars, we left ourselves pitifully vulnerable.

  Karo had also turned the exercise into one of teamwork be-cause half the remotes were meant for me to deal with and half for Mara, yet they could target either one of us. For every dart from one of ours that would hit home, we lost a point-points we earned by blocking shots. I was actually less worried about losing in score to Mara than having her at my back with a lightsaber when my reinores peppered her rump with stingers I should have blocked.

  Out there, in the darkness, I felt a shift of energy. With my lightsaber on my right, I swept it out parallel to the floor, pick-ing off a low shot coming in at my right knee. At my midline I snapped the blade vertical, then waggled it right and left, inter-cepting two more bolts sizzling through the dark. Then, releas-ing with my right hand, I dropped to my left knee and slashed out, deflecting a dart coming in from my flank.

  I cranked my left wrist around, relishing the lightsaber's tenor hum and getting my right hand back on the hilt. While I'd learned enough to be fairly good with the blade in one hand, my left was still my off hand and didn't possess all the fine control I wanted. The blade itself could be wielded effortlessly, but that made it deceptively dangerous. Twirling it in my hands would have been as easy as twirling a stylus through my fingers, but dropping the lightsaber, or have it wobble in the direction of face or knee would have hurt. A lot.

  I felt a shot coming in from directly above me. My initial reaction was to raise the blade and stab it back behind my head, but Mara was standing there. Given no choice, I leaped up as high as I could and thrust the lightsaber above my head. The silvery blade took the dart on the point, infusing my blade with a red sheen for a moment. I laughed triumphantly, then saw Mara's cerulean blade whirl through a complete circle, passing beneath me, as it picked off three darts vectoring in at odd angles.

  I landed and crouched again, then pivoted left and blocked another shot a second before Mara's blade came around and struck mine. Light flared where our blades intersected, then I threw myself backward and rolled off to the right, letting the strength of her cut provide the energy for my roll. Coming around and up I one-handed the blade with my right hand, flicking two more remote darts off into the darkness, then I took one straight in the stomach.

  I shunted the pain away immediately and stepped back. I saw Mara spin away from a trio of darts, one of which hit her in her right shoulder. Her blade moved a fraction too slow after that, allowing two more to lance through her right hip. Her spin, which had started voluntarily, continued without her consent, dropping her to the hangar floor. Her blade came up and warded off another shot, then a dart hit her in the small of the back, collapsing her legs as she tried to get back up.

  I saw her lying there on her belly, her legs tangled, her hair a veil that picked up argent highlights from my lightsaber. At the same time I felt three remotes moving around, closing in for the kill. Two were coming in toward her feet and one near her head. Her lightsaber had winked out and lay there, next to her left hand, now useless in her defense.

  I was left one choice that was no real choice at all.

  I dove toward her, slicing my lightsaber through the air near her legs with my right hand. The argent blade blocked the two darts meant to further cripple her. I couldn't help letting a smile get started when that happened because I knew it would not last long.

  Two centimeters in front of her face, my left hand snatched the third bolt from the air. Searing pain shot up my arm, but I pulled the energy into me and turned it around to help calm furious nerves. My smile continued to grow as that transforma-tion took place and my spirit soared because of my success.

  Unfortunately, a soaring spirit does little for a falling body. I hit the floor rather hard, landing solidly on my chest. I bounced back up a bit, with my toes hitting just before my knees. I tried to twist around and land on my left hip so I could keep my blade in the air and active, but all I really managed to do was start myself rolling, which resulted in my wrapping myself around a pillar. My lightsaber whirled out of my grasp and spun to a stop about ten meters away.

  Its silvery glow illuminated the remotes closing in on me.

  I sighed. "I have a bad feeling about this."

  The remotes did not shoot.

  I rolled over and flopped on my back. In the distance, be-tween my upraised knees, I could see Mara Jade on her side, dragging herself along in my direction. Sweat had pasted strands of her hair to her face and gave her skin an icy blue gleam in her reignited lightsaber's backlight. The flesh around her eyes tightened as she moved her legs, but she gave no other indication that she felt any discomfort.

  Kam's voice echoed through the chamber. "That's enough for now. You did pretty well."

  I laughed. "If that's true, why do I feel so bad?"

  "It's because, Keiran, you didn't do well enough."

  "Thanks for the clarification, Kam." I dropped my knees and laid my head back down on the cold stone floor. I ran a hand through my goatee, brushing away the sweat that had collected in it, then felt the sting of sweat leaking into my eyes. I let my head 1oll to the left and smiled as Mara inched her way into view. "Hurt much?"

  "A Jedi doesn't know pain."

  "Right. Me, too." I looked over at where my lightsaber still lay. I extended a hand in that direction and tried to call the blade to me, but all I got was a little twitching of the hilt. "These are the times I could really use better telekinesis skills."

 
"You're just being lazy. Just walk over and get it."

  "Okav. In a minute."

  Mara laughed lightly, then sighed. "Thanks for the save."

  "No problem. You'd do the same for me."

  Her voice drained of all lighter tones. "Would I?"

  I had to think for a second. "You would. The universe you knew growing up may have changed, but your core values of duty and loyalty haven't. Not that I think you'd ever feel your-self that beholden to someone else, but you'd extend that sort of courtesy to someone you see as a friend, right?" Silence answered me.

  I rolled myself up on my left flank and rested my head on my left hand. "We are friends, right?"

  Her eyes narrowed, then her lightsaber went out again, sink-ing her into shadow. "I don't know if I really know what it means to have a friend in the same sense you think of it. I do think I trust you."

  "I'11 take that."

  "Is that why you sacrificed your hand to protect my face, because you think of me as a friend?"

  "In part, yes. A very big part." I nibbled my lower lip for a moment, then continued. "I also did it because I knew I could and, therefore, it was my duty to do so. Even back when I entered CorSec, I knew there were things that I'd be called upon to do, dangerous things, that I would do because others could not. My role in society was to take action and responsibil-ity for those who could not. I think, deep down, that's the es-sence of being a Jedi. A Jedi places himself where he can defend the greatest number of people from the greatest evil." "Even if it costs him his life?"

  I exhaled slowly. "You never want to think about that, but it's part of the job. I remember a couple of times in my life, with Rogue Squadron and before, when ! knew it was my duty to get a job done. I felt pretty certain I would die in those attempts and nearly did on Talasea. Fact was, though, that I had friends who would die if I didn't do anything and somehow my life didn't seem to matter all that much in the equation." Mara snorted. "The Emperor would have considered you a sentimental fool who deserved to die."

  "I'11 remember that next time I dance on his grave." I levered myself up into a sitting position and crossed my legs beneath me. "There are just times the sacrifice feels right. It did then, it did today. Just a judgment you'll have to make for yourself when the time comes, I guess."

  "Not an easy decision to make...."

  "Nope." I stood and offered her a hand. She took it and I

  steadied her as she got back onto her feet. "But then, as you said, easy isn't for a Jedi, is it?"

  Master Skywalker tossed his cloak to Kam and brought the hilt of his lightsaber to hand. "Thank you, Kam. If you would see to the others for a while."

  "As you wish, Master Skywalker."

  The Jedi Master looked up at me as I slipped my lightsaber into my right hand. "We don't have to do this, Keiran."

  I gave him a wry grin. "I think we do, Master. And I think you have a question you want to ask."

  Luke nodded slowly. "Is our duel a prelude to your leaving, too?"

  The pure pain in his voice sank into me and pinned my heart against my spine. Luke was watching his dream of the Jedi academy collapse around him. Gantoris had been roasted alive with his own hatred and anger. Kyp, his most promising stu-dent, had fallen under the sway of an ancient evil and had vanished. Mara Jade, one of the Emperor's trusted practi-tioners of the Force, had come to the academy for instruction, but inside a week had chosen to leave again and even that morning had been whisked away by Han Solo and Lando Calrissian aboard the Millennium Falcon.

  For having been open for only a little more than a month, the failure rate for promising students was staggering. I could have taken Luke's question as a confirmation of my abilities, but I felt it really marked how battered he felt at the moment. I could understand that because I was feeling a little betrayed by Mara's departure as well.

  I saw her that morning when I'd arrived to get her for our run. "Ready to go?"

  "Yeah," she replied, "but not running." She stood in her room in the color-shifting flightsuit in which she had arrived. Her bed had been made up and the Jedi robe she'd worn had been folded neatly and placed at the foot of the bed beside her heavy satchel. "Thought another candidate might find a use for the robe."

  I leaned against the door jamb, using my body to bar the way out. "I thought you told me you weren't a quitter."

  A little fire blazed in her eyes, but she brought it under con-trol with an ease that surprised me. "I'm not. I've learned a lot here, but what I needed to learn isn't exactly what you need, or what others here need to learn."

  "Want to run that by me again, with the help files enabled this time?"

  She relaxed just ever so slightly, shifting her weight to her back foot. "When the Empire trained me, I learned a lot of the things all of you are learning. I practiced them and perfected them. You and I have trained together with lightsabers. Do you think I picked all that up in an afternoon or two of quick study?"

  I shrugged. "Well, with Kam and me as examples, it's possi-ble."

  "Cute, Corran, but you know it's not true."

  "Okay, score one for Mara Jade."

  The flesh around her eyes tightened. "My Imperial training directed me toward using dark-side techniques for tapping the Force. I let emotions fuel what I did. I came here thinking Luke would show me new things I could do, new abilities to learn, but what he did instead was show me how to employ the light side. I'm still doing the same things, but I have a new fuel source."

  "One that runs a bit leaner, isn't as easily accessible.... "

  "Right, but one that won't burn the engine out." She graced me with an open, green-eyed gaze that surprised me with its vulnerability. "The other day, when you were talking about the willingness to sacrifice yourself for others, you mentioned friends and those who could not take responsibility for them-selves. I started thinking about the Smugglers' Alliance. I've got a lot of things to think about."

  I nodded slowly. "And your little sojourn here was prompted, in part, by being uncomfortable with that responsibility." "And here I thought all CorSec agents were not that bright."

  "We have our moments."

  "Up to now I've been responsible for myself. I've been able to make decisions, but I've been comfortable with them on a tactical level. With Karrde putting me in charge of the alliance, 1 need to think more strategically. He's counting on me to do the right thing. More pressure. I can handle it-I refuse to fail him-but..."

  "But you aren't sure you're comfortable doing it." I smiled. "I understand. This is why I am content to be a pilot in Rogue Squadron, not someone leading my own group of fighter pilots. I don't want to get so spread out that I can't make a difference when I need to."

  Mara's gaze sharpened. "I bet the smugglers working your sector of the Corellian system didn't like you at all." "Can't understand why. Should I have had my sting opera-tions catered or something, I shook my head. "They traded in rare commodities and I traded them the rarest of all for their wares: time."

  "Yeah, on Kessel. Time goes a long way there."

  "And I didn't even charge extra for it." I straightened up and offered her my hand. "I'm sorry to see you go. I thought be-tween us we could really kick some life into this place and help Luke move the students on to the next level of development. I hesitate to say it, but it's been fun working with you."

  Mara gave me one of her carefully hoarded smiles. "For something that started off with our arguing and my ship getting stolen, the experience hasn't been as bad as I would have thought. Thanks for your help. If there is anything I can do for yOU..."

  "Actually there is." I gave her a weak smile. "With your con-tacts in the smuggling community, maybe you will hear some-thing about Mirax. I'd appreciate hearing anything. I'd owe you."

  "How about a swap?" She hitched for a second, then glanced down at the floor. "Watch out for Luke for me, will you?"

  "Sure, gladly." I frowned. "Anything specific? I know he won't like your leaving.... "

  "That, cert
ainly." Her voice shrank a bit. "His involvement with the dark side. I know it functions as a spur to drive him on to teach his students, but I don't think he knows how much he was hurt by it. The experience had to be unbelievably traumatic and he's still healing. I don't fear a relapse, but maybe, I don't know."

  "He might try to do too much, too fast?"

  "That would be like him."

  I nodded and wanted to kick myself for not having seen it sooner. For Luke, for anyone, the journey to the dark side and back would have been like being shot multiple times at point-blank range. Bacta therapy might heal the physical wounds, but the memories and nightmares resulting would take time to work out. While the Jedi calming techniques might get rid of the resulting anxiety, they just treated the symptoms without curing the underlying problems. Only time could heal them; time and the love and support of friends.