Star Wars: I, Jedi Read online

  “Yes, you did, and quite strongly.” Luke righted his own chair and sat down again. “I think I have a clue about your losing emotional details concerning Mirax.”

  “Tell me.”

  “You’ve got flashburns. The trauma of hearing her shout for you and then having her gone pretty much burned out your emotions where she is concerned. Your mind is closing off access to certain points to prevent taking another shock like that.” Luke shrugged lightly. “Your defenses are quite strong and right now it’s like swelling after a trauma. You’re shut down emotionally and very tough to reach.”

  Some strength had returned to my limbs, so I pulled myself into an upright sitting position. “It’s not permanent, is it?”

  “I don’t think so.” Luke sipped at his drink. “The mind can be pretty hardy.”

  I waited for him to swallow another mouthful of chocolate, then asked, “So, will you help me find her?”

  “I would like to, very much. First we need to figure out why she is missing.”

  Wedge frowned over the lip of his caf mug. “She’s missing because she went out to learn about the Invids.”

  “That’s the root cause, yes, but why her? And why wasn’t she killed outright?” Luke pressed his hands together. “There have been points where I have felt friends being in danger over great distances, but the most powerful time was when Han and Leia and Chewbacca were on Bespin and being tortured by Darth Vader. He wanted me to come to him, so he could win me over to the dark side.”

  “But he knew you had been trained as a Jedi by then. He knew you would be receptive to that sort of bait.” I poked a thumb against my own breastbone. “Almost no one outside the squadron knows my Jedi connections, and I haven’t been trained. In fact, there’s very little to link me to the Jedi at all.”

  Luke nodded. “Then what is there to link Mirax to them?”

  My heart stopped for a second. “Sithspawn, she has my Jedi Credit. I gave it to her when we were engaged. She wears it as a good luck charm when she travels.”

  The Jedi Master’s face darkened. “That could be it. From what I learned of the Corellian Jedi traditions, when a Knight became a Master, he had memorial coins struck. They were given to family, friends, his Master and students. It could be that someone saw the medallion, assumed a link there and took action.”

  “But why?” It didn’t make sense to me. “You said Vader tortured your friends to lure you into a trap. I can’t find Mirax, so how can I fall into a trap?”

  Wedge shook his head. “Might just be a warning, Corran, warning you off from doing something.”

  “Sure, but what?”

  Luke held a hand up. “We don’t know. Speculating now could be a waste of breath. My using the Bespin example might have set us off on the wrong trail. It could be nothing more than someone kidnapping Mirax because they recognized her and think they can ransom her, since both of you are known as part of the Rebellion. The warning you got may have come before any ransom demands and the kidnappers might not know you have been warned.”

  My eyes narrowed. “Good, then we’re a step ahead of them. With your help, we can find Mirax and take care of this situation before it becomes more dire.”

  “Agreed, but there is a problem.”

  “What’s that?”

  Luke sighed. “I don’t have your connection to Mirax. The abruptness with which your link to her was broken makes me wonder if she’s in stasis. I’ll have to ask Leia what she felt when Han was sealed in carbonite—I know it hurt her terribly. What you felt, I bet, was a lot of what she felt.”

  I hugged my arms around myself. The thought of Mirax being frozen in carbonite, or stuffed into a hibernation tube, filled me with dread. “You’re saying that you have no way of finding her.”

  “No, not right now, not over this distance.”

  My heart sank. “So she’s lost.”

  “I didn’t say that.” Luke set his mug down on the table and stared into my eyes. “I think you can find her. I think you are strong enough in the Force to pick her out, even if she is in hibernation. Her thoughts may have been slowed to the point where they barely register, but through the Force you can find them. They will lead you to her.”

  “But I need to find her now!”

  “No,” he insisted calmly, “you need to find her. What you need to do now is learn how to find her.”

  Luke stood, circled behind his chair and leaned heavily on the back of it. “I’ve been thinking a lot on what has happened recently and I know there is no way Leia and I and her children, as they grow to maturity, can shoulder all the responsibilities that we’re called upon to deal with now. Down through the thousand generations that the Jedi maintained peace in the galaxy, there were lots of Jedi; hundreds certainly, thousands probably. The Emperor’s best efforts to destroy the Jedi were not wholly successful and there are Force-sensitive people still out there. Just like you, Corran, and me and Mara Jade. We need to create more Jedi to share the burden.

  “I know I asked you before to join me and train with me. You refused for what were good and valuable reasons. Events since then have not let me push to reestablish the order, but now is the time. In a couple of days I plan to ask the senate to let me establish a Jedi academy. Just a basic search through databases has turned up a number of viable candidates. If I can get a dozen I think I will have enough to start. I’d like you to be one of them.”

  “How can I think of training to be a Jedi when my wife is gone?”

  Wedge frowned at me. “Think for a second, Corran. If her abduction was meant to send you a message—a message only a Jedi could understand—then whoever has her is tough enough that they think they can take on a Jedi and survive. If you don’t train to be a Jedi, what do you think are the chances of your being able to rescue her?”

  Luke nodded. “Wedge is right. And, if you got the message because of your sensitivity to the Force and the kidnappers know nothing about it, Jedi training will make you that much more able to deal with them and save her.”

  Their logic was unassailable, but I still felt uneasy about committing myself to a course of training while Mirax languished in stasis. “I don’t know.”

  The Jedi Master slowly smiled. “I would have expected no other honest answer. Two things for you to consider, Corran. The first is this: when Vader tortured my friends, it was to lure me to him and to disrupt my training. I made the most serious mistake of my career leaving my master at that point. It cost me my hand, nearly cost me my life and, as events went from there, could have seriously hurt the Rebellion. You have a chance, being faced with a similar challenge, to avoid the mistake I made. I hope you will take it.”

  I could feel the sincerity rolling off him. “What’s the other thing?”

  “The Corellian Jedi tradition is a strong one. In the annals of the Jedi, many Corellian Jedi are noted for their devotion to service. They tended not to range far from Corellia—that system had more than enough for them to do—but their wisdom and courage made quite an impact. You are heir to that tradition and I think weaving it back into the new Jedi traditions will be very important. What you do in joining the academy will not only let you rescue Mirax, but will help others come to their full potential in the Force.”

  “I hear what you are saying, Master Skywalker, but there are other problems.” I shrugged. “I’m not you or Han Solo, but I’m not unknown in the New Republic. If Mirax’s kidnappers hear I’m at your academy and being trained as a Jedi, her life would be forfeit.”

  Wedge pointed at me. “If nothing else, his status as a hero of the Rebellion would probably distract other students.”

  “Very true, but that’s not too difficult a problem to handle.” Luke smiled easily. “Dye your hair, grow a beard, you’ll look different. In your time with CorSec you performed undercover operations.”

  “Sure, but I wasn’t known as Corran Horn during those assignments, either.”

  “No, you changed your name.” Luke nodded solemnly. “In re
searching the Corellian Jedi I saw a name—probably an ancestor of yours. You may even have been named for him. He was Keiran Halcyon. You can use his name. It is close enough to your own for you to respond to it, yet far enough away to give you the cover you need.”

  Keiran Halcyon. The name rolled around in my brain and seemed to soothe the last lingering bits of pain from Luke’s probe. “That might work. I have to think about it.”

  Luke reached out and patted me on the shoulder. “It is a big decision. Go home. Definitely think about it. Think about reclaiming the heritage the Empire tried to deny to you. This is yet another chance for you to defeat that evil and prepare yourself to battle new evils. If you truly want the galaxy to be safe for the children you and Mirax will have, learning to become a Jedi is the best possible course you can take.”

  SIX

  Wedge ran me home and offered to stay and talk things over with me, but I let him go. “I appreciate the offer, Wedge, but you’ve got more important things to do than to listen to me argue this from all sides.”

  Wedge pressed his lips together in a grim grin. “Nothing I have to do is more important than my friends. Mirax is as close as I’ve ever come to having a little sister, and I definitely think of her as family. You’re a good friend. As much as it bothers you to be able to do nothing at the moment, at least you have some options. I’m even more blind here than you are; but I’ll be ready to help no matter what decision you make.”

  I shook his outstretched hand. “Thanks. Believe me, you’ll be hearing from me.”

  “I’m counting on it.”

  I held a hand up. “One thing, please. Don’t say anything to Booster.”

  Wedge frowned. “But he’s her father. He should be told.”

  “Yeah, but if Cracken was afraid I’d be a nerf in an antiquities bazaar, just imagine what Booster will do.” I shook my head. “The Errant Venture might not be in the greatest shape, but having an Imperial Star Destroyer show up and threaten a world probably won’t be the best way to get Mirax back.”

  “You have a point there.” Wedge smiled. “I won’t lie to him, but I won’t go out of my way to say anything to him until or unless I have some good news.”

  “Thanks. See you later, Wedge.” I walked down the steps from the complex’s common landing area and over to the apartment. The door slid open when I punched in the code. I was two steps inside before I noticed there were more lights on than when I’d left. Without a blaster or my grandfather’s lightsaber, I was defenseless against whoever had broken in. I was about to turn and head back out again, when a familiar hooting sounded from the living room.

  “Yes, Whistler, it’s me.”

  The little green R2 unit rolled over, swiveled his head so his visual monitors could take in the hallway, then turned around and disappeared again. I walked down to the living area and found a variety of bags and containers of food piled on the holopad’s table. The droid’s pincer arm extended from its cylindrical body and elevated a can of nerf and gumes to the top of a shaky stack.

  “Whistler, despite what Mirax told you months ago about my dietary habits when she’s gone, I really can feed myself.” I dropped to my knees on the floor beside him and caught the can he dropped in my lap. “Yes, I’m certain this would be good, but I’m just not hungry right now.”

  A whistle started low and spiked high.

  “Why?” I snorted. “I don’t know how much of this you can understand, Whistler.” I ignored his derisive reply and pushed on, organizing my thoughts as I went. “Since you’re here, I know you pulled the Skate’s port logs and saw Mirax was gone. Fact is, she’s really gone. Someone has taken her and Jedi Master Skywalker thinks she’s being held in stasis somewhere. Why, none of us have any clue.”

  Whistler’s mournful tone raised a lump in my throat. He tweetled and hooted a bunch of things after that, but I couldn’t figure out what he meant. I reached out and patted him gently on the dome. His pincer gently tugged on the sleeve of my jacket.

  “I’ve just come from talking with Wedge and with Luke Skywalker. They both think my learning to train as a Jedi is the key to finding Mirax, but I think that will take too long. Part of me knows they are right, but another part doesn’t think Mirax can afford the time. I keep trying to think about what I should do, or what my father would do, but I have so many questions that need answering that I’m lost.”

  Whistler toddled forward and toppled one of the stack of cans he had created. His dataprobe came out and sank itself into the dataport on the holopad. In an instant the image of my father, standing slightly taller than Mirax had, appeared frozen on the holopad. Whistler hooted insistently at me, but I couldn’t understand him.

  “Slow down, slow down. What are you getting at?”

  My father’s image faded, replaced by the glowing words, “All you have to do is ask.”

  I was about to ask for a further explanation of that line, but the words struck a resonance inside me and I recognized them fairly quickly. Back before we had liberated Thyferra, before Thrawn and freeing the Lusankya prisoners, Whistler had informed me that my father had encrypted and loaded into him a holograph talking about my heritage. Whistler had said the message was recorded back before I joined CorSec. He’d been instructed to play it for me whenever I asked and could provide the encryption key.

  I resisted listening to the message back then because I feared it would make me make choices that I didn’t want to make. If my father had urged me to become a Jedi, to seek out a Master and to train, I knew I would have. At the time that would have meant leaving the squadron and leaving Mirax and abandoning the former Lusankya prisoners. I couldn’t do that, so I set aside the idea of hearing what my father had to say.

  After that, with Thrawn and everything else, I never got the chance to explore what my father had left for me. Mirax told me the message itself was not the last gift my father had given me. The last gift was the trust he showed in allowing me to choose when and if I listened to his message. I cherished that gift and while I knew I should listen to the message, by putting off the decision I made that final gift last longer.

  Even as that thought bubbled into my brain, I realized that listening to the message would not destroy my father’s gift. His trust had been implicit in every aspect of our lives. My father had died in my arms and I had been powerless to prevent his death. Because of this I had allowed myself to imagine that in his last seconds of life he wondered where I was. He wondered why I had not been there to help him. I had to hope, for the sake of my sanity, that he knew I would have given my own life to save his. Somehow I did think that; I even knew it.

  I smiled. “He recorded that message long before he died. It was never meant to be a legacy, but a failsafe. If something happened to him, I would not be left without information he thought I needed to know. And I need to remember that he never would have put me into a position to make a choice against my own best interests. I trust him in that, but by not listening to the message I’ve failed to act on that trust.”

  I nodded to Whistler. “Please, play the message for me. Decryption code is Nejaa Halcyon.”

  My father’s image reappeared and my throat tightened. He’d always been taller than me and, with me kneeling on the floor, I once again had to look up at him. His black hair had been closely cropped, his hazel eyes had golden highlights that sparkled. He wore that easy smile I’d see so often. I’d probably been sixteen years old when he recorded the message—he still had his powerful build and only a hint of the thickening he would fight until the end of his life.

  His voice came through clear and strong. “I am making this recording for you, Corran, because there are things you should know. Being in CorSec can be dangerous and I don’t want anything to happen to me that would prevent you from learning about our family. I hope and trust right now that we’re sitting together watching this, laughing at how young I looked when I recorded it. If not, I want you to know I love you and have always been very proud of you.”
/>   Whistler stopped the message as I closed my eyes against tears. The shock of Mirax’s disappearance might have numbed me from feeling anything about her, but the pain of my father’s death came roaring back to fill the void inside of me. I realized I was kneeling now the way I’d knelt in the cantina where he died, cradling his head in my lap. It was almost as if I could feel his blood soaking into my clothes again. The frustration I felt over Mirax compounded itself with the frustration I’d felt with my father’s death and I almost walked away.

  But neither of them would.

  I sniffed and wiped my nose on my sleeve, then opened my eyes and nodded to Whistler. “Thanks, my friend.”

  The message continued with my father smiling broadly. “This will sound like a wild tale, but it is all true. Your grandfather, Rostek Horn, is really your step-grandfather. As you know he partnered with a Jedi before the Clone Wars, and that Jedi died serving away from Corellia, right after the Clone Wars. That Jedi, Nejaa Halcyon, was my father. He served as my Master before he went away. I was all of ten years old when he died, and Rostek Horn saw to it that my mother and I wanted for nothing. My mother and Rostek fell in love and married, and Rostek adopted me. More importantly, when the Empire began to hunt down Jedi and their families, he managed to destroy records and fabricate new ones that insulated us from the Empire’s wrath.

  “I know this is quite a secret to keep from you, but the deception was necessary. I know you, Corran, and know you would have been very proud of your heritage. You would have told others of it, sharing it with them, and that would have been your destruction. Lord Vader and the others hunting Jedi have been relentless. I have seen the results of their handiwork. Keeping you ignorant is keeping you safe. It’s a terrible bargain to make, but the only one that can be made.”

  My father’s face screwed up in that expression he wore when things were not going exactly the way he wanted. “The Halcyon family is well known among the Corellian Jedi. We were well respected and many were the tributes to Nejaa Halcyon upon his death. You can find no record of them now, of course. What the Empire did not destroy, Rostek did destroy or hid away—he won’t even tell me where the records are, but I cannot believe he would have allowed all traces of his friend to perish. The Halcyons were strong in the Force but not flashy or given to public displays of power. A word here, an act there, allowing people to choose between good or evil at their own speed and peril was more our way.